LOVE, ELEMENTARY STYLE

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February is the season of love, and little children have an interesting perspective on it. This month’s contribution from our little hobbits concerns their experienced opinions on…LOVE.

Once again, these are all true. Enjoy.

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OBVIOUSLY NOT FOUND IN A CABBAGE PATCH

One boy asked another little boy (who had an Italian name) where he was from.

The second little boy said,

Well…technically, I’m from Italy, but my parents said they made me in Mexico.”

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LOVE ELEMENTARY STYLE

A little girl was heard cheering on a Tennessee football team. Her teacher questioned her since her entire family have always been Georgia fans.

“Well,” she began, “As you know, I’m in love with a boy who goes here and he roots for Tennessee. Sometimes when you love somebody you just have to try to like what they do.”

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IT WAS WORTH A TRY

Two first grade girls were overheard discussing how Valentine’s Day got started:

One little girl enthusiastically stated,

I think it started when two people were kissing, and hearts started floating above their heads. Some people standing around saw it and said to each other,

 I wonder if little hearts will float above our heads if we do that?

 So, people tried it, and didn’t see floating hearts, so started giving cardboard hearts to each other instead.”

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THAT’S EASY

A seven-year old’s answer to how he handles a girl kissing him on the cheek.

“Oh, that’s easy. I just spit on my hand and wipe it off my face.”

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YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE MY VALENTINE 

These days, a kid can’t get out of exchanging valentine cards for the whole class. It’s especially uncomfortable for boys; they don’t want to get involved with the mushiness of valentine card trading. That is, unless you are this little guy and come up with a perfect solution.

On the back of a valentine card from a boy to a boy… “This means nothing.

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 GOOD GRASP ON THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SEXES

Chloe, my granddaughter, seems to have a good grasp on the differences between the sexes. We were at a restaurant, and went to the bathroom. There were two doors to choose from, both having a unisex sign on the door (both male and female symbols). We went in the door on the left, and the walls were bright pink! Chloe got confused and asked,

 “But what happens if boys come in here and think they’re in a girl’s bathroom?”

I said, “Well, maybe the other bathroom wall is painted green just in case a boy doesn’t like the pink bathroom. Then, they will have a choice.

She thought for a minute and said,

“I think you’re right, Nannie, PINK IS THE COLOR OF LOVE, so this one must be the girl’s bathroom…

GREEN IS THE COLOR OF THROW UP, so the other one must be for boys”.

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IT’S ALL RELATIVE

Overheard conversations concerning the difference between Halloween candy and Valentine candy…

On Halloween, spooky monsters make the candy, and on Valentine’s a big red heart brings it to your parents and they give it to you.

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Well, one is bad candy, and the other one is less bad. Halloween candy makes you throw up and Valentine’s just makes you stomach hurt.

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On Halloween, you go get the candy. On Valentines, it comes to you. I think fairies come to your house and put it on your mothers’ coffee table.

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SIGNED ANONYMOUS

Finally, a 5th grade boy, who actually wants a girlfriend, can’t get a break even on the day of love…

 “It figures! I got a valentine card today and it says,

I think you’re cute. Do you want to go together?” “

“What’s wrong with that?” asked his friend.

She didn’t sign her name!” he wailed.

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Three second grade girls were having a conversation as to when Valentine’s Day was “invented”. One girl said,

I think it was invented by President Washington.

The second girl replied, “No. I think it was Lincoln.”

 The third little girl interrupted with,

Neither of you is right! God made love, so it came from the bible. God is bigger than presidents. Everybody ought to know that!”

You can’t argue with that logic.

On that note…hope you had a great Valentine’s Day!

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