My stumbling and crazy journey through weight loss, work, love and life
Let me ‘splain. Last Friday was a big event in our county. It was the Walton Derby. Floral dresses, big hats, high heels and horses. A good time was had by all, I assure you. I was headed to the event as an ambassador for our chamber of commerce but I still wanted to look the part. Having lost 42lbs (58 to go) I decided I would find me a cutie patootie dress and make my hat as huge as possible.
I found the dress which with the help of the most ungodly spanx in the tri-county area fit me great. The big win was that I didn’t buy it in the plus size area. I found it in the “regular” size side of the store. A scary place that I haven’t ventured through in quite some time. So, I get the dress and buy every fake flower I can get my hands on and hot glue the hell out of my hat. When I arrived at the event I was feeling pretty fly. Other than having to decide whether to hold my hat on or my dress down in the wind, my look was slick. One delightful woman asked me if I got my hat in the cemetery but I didn’t know her so I thought she just must be special and super lovely. I’m not sure if the sarcasm font is working but please read the previous line with a snarky look on your face. Thanks.
Apparently, the drink of the night is a mint julep. Not only did I swear off brown liquor in my 20’s due to an unfortunate incident involving quarters, Jack Daniels and Marlboro Lights, but I also haven’t had sugar in about 12 weeks. I’m not sure if you are aware but those are the 2 main ingredients of a mint julep. Brown liquor and simple syrup (sugar). So I had one, and then another and then somehow I found myself in the bar-b-que line. Then I ate cobbler…COBBLER!!! OHHHHH I didn’t stop there, while fielding compliments and telling folks about my hard work losing my 42lbs I was off the rails as far as eating goes. I kept going for 4 freaking days. I stuffed my face. I’ll repeat that. I stuffed my mother trucking face y’all. I even sunk so low that I bought a box of cookies and a People magazine and sat in the car enjoying the quiet, the cookies and the article on Kate Middleton. Let me just tell you, this was a low 4 days but I felt like I couldn’t stop.
This is where it gets interesting. Not that hearing me describe my horrible eating isn’t interesting but you know, gotta keep the story moving. For the first time in my entire life I have come clean about my eating…..